Contains Graphic Material

This entry is not for the easily-grossed out reader; in fact, I cannot believe I'm even able to write about what I witnessed today.

Jacob had a playdate scheduled at a kid gym this morning. The organizer showed up with her two kids, 4 and 2, and the 2 year-old, along with the other 9 kids, went to play. The 4 year-old sat straddled on her mom's lap, which was explained away by the mom with some story about Ann* complaining of a stomach ache earlier this morning. Ann sat on her mom's lap the whole time, and I think she even fell asleep. Probably - obviously - didn't feel good.

Anyway, about an hour into our time, the most disgusting smell hit my nostrils. Ann had gotten sick - and I mean S-I-C-K - on her mom's lap. I won't go into great detail, but it was of the combo-delivery variety. The mom was covered with diarrhea and vomit, and there was a 6-inch wide trail of the stuff from where we were sitting to the boy's bathroom, approximately 20 feet away. So the mom's best friend (who, incidentally, is an ER nurse and must have a gut of steel) takes Ann into the bathroom and spends !20 minutes! alternating this poor girl's body from sitting on the toilet to leaning over the toilet. At this point, the combination of the smell and the visuals had impaired several of us, and so I can't really even remember what the mom was doing the whole time her daughter was in the bathroom, but I vaguely recall something involving wipes and trash bags. They obviously went home. And the poor ER nurse had diarrhea in her hair, so she took her kids home, too; I'm sure to take Lysol baths.

It was seriously the nastiest thing I've ever seen/smelled. And to make it worse, the mom said something when she was leaving about how her 2 year-old had been throwing up on Monday. So now I'm not only sore from dry-heaving, but I'm pretty chapped, too. Really?!? Your 2 year-old was throwing up 3 days ago, your 4 year-old wakes up complaining about a stomach ache, and you still think it's a good idea to take them into a public area filled with healthy children? Jacob will probably have bad memories of Purell; I gave him a total scrubdown in the car.

So, in light of all this, I have some observations:

1) I am not, and never will be, as good a friend to someone as the ER-nurse-mom is. I'm only saying this because honesty is always the best policy (right?), and if I am ever in a situation with you and your children where something goes this awry, I will not try to help in any way other than informing management that there's been a mess that needs attention. My stomach is so delicate that I cannot even be in the bathroom when Mark puts his contacts in. I'm not even sure I could help my own child in a matter this disgusting. Again, honesty.

2) If there's been evidence of a viral illness in your family recently, keep your kids home until it passes. These kid-play places are like petri dishes as it is; why try to trump the other germs with yours?

3) Jacob knows how to bless a meal. This was his exact dinner prayer tonight: "Hey Jesus, please make Ann stop throwing up and diarrhea-ing."

So, that's been my day. And though the incident only lasted about 2 hours, counting the time before the explosives, it has haunted me all day. And it probably will continue to be with me for 2 weeks, which should get us past any incubation period.

*Names have been changed.