Here We Go Again...

Today is the first day of the last seven days of which Jacob will be 4. What the hell?!? How did we go from this:

to this:

Anyway, as we enter the last week, I need to ask my sweet husband to bear with me - this is going to be hard.

Jacob is such a big boy now; instead of the never-ending laundry loads of spit-up sheets and poopy onesies, I now have never-ending laundry loads of soccer shirts and school clothes. Instead of a hold-me-all-the-time baby, I now have an "I can do it myself, Mom!" boy. Instead of first smiles and laughs and words and steps, I now have first homework assignments and bike rides and fart jokes. Instead of the constant feeding and rocking and staring between he and I, now it's constant conversation and problem-solving techniques and everyday triumphs we share (still have the constant feeding thing going on).

I feel like one of those split-personality people. Part of me is so sad. Before I realized how fast it all goes, I was constantly waiting for the next thing: if he would just sit up by himself, if he could only tell me what he wants, if he would pretty-please start walking...I can't believe I was so selfish; I'll never get that back! And then there's the other part of me, the so-excited-to-see-what's-next part. I can't wait to teach him swimming strokes, which I know willl probably happen this summer, and listen to him read me books. I can't wait to see his amazed eyes when he learns to tie his shoes. I am dying for the day when he gets rid of the training wheels.

My son is my second true love (married my first!), and I love him so much that I can't even think of the words to rewrite this sentence and express how much. He - we - is/are in for a great journey, and there's nothing like an impending D-Day (I mean, B-Day) to remind me how far we've come.

So, Jacob, Mark: if I cry a lot this week, get me a glass of wine. Or the last book in the Twilight series. Or...oh, wait, it's not my birthday that's coming up...